Build Your Confidence, Live More Intentionally

Read time: 4 minutes

It’s time to unlock your potential.

Right now, you might not feel like yourself, and that’s holding you back. Maybe you’re stuck in a cycle of self-doubt—constantly stressed about the future, questioning every decision, and no matter what you do, it feels like your confidence bubble keeps deflating. It’s frustrating, and it leaves you asking, “How did I get here?”

But the good news is, it doesn’t have to stay that way. We can change that.

In this guide, we’ll talk about four steps that can help you rebuild your confidence and live more intentionally.

Now, these steps aren’t about practicing self-compassion, setting goals, or trying to meet unrealistic expectations—they’re about clearing the clutter and making space for what truly matters.

Let me explain.

Not Your Typical Advice

You’ve probably heard the usual tips for building confidence a million times by now:

• Practice self-compassion
• Dress in a way that makes us feel good
• Set goals and celebrate our wins
• Step outside of our comfort zone and learn something new.
• Prioritize our health and workout.

But here’s the thing—those steps don’t always work when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to begin.

That’s because the foundation that confidence grows out of starts with clearing away the mental and emotional clutter that’s standing in your way. And these four steps help you do just that.

Step 1: Let Go of Expectations

We all have expectations for ourselves. Whether it’s how we want our careers, relationships, or personal growth to unfold, we often hold ourselves to high standards. But sometimes, holding onto these expectations is the very thing that’s keeping us from feeling confident.

Here’s why.

When we try to live up to unrealistic expectations—whether self-imposed or projected onto us by our parents, a partner, or society—we feel pressure to perform a certain way. This leads to stress, self-doubt, avoidance, and disappointment, which slowly chip away at our confidence.

But here’s where this problem starts to grow: when you don’t meet those expectations, whether self-imposed or projected onto you, it feels like failure.

And if you’ve ever felt like you’ve failed at something before, you know firsthand how quickly that can destroy your confidence.

So here’s my advice: let go.

Letting go of these unrealistic expectations isn’t about lowering your standards—it’s about freeing yourself from the pressure. And when you let go, you give yourself the space to grow at your own pace. The result? A boost in confidence you didn’t expect.

Step 2: Understand That Some Seasons Are About Pruning

When we talk about what it means or what it looks like to be confident, we automatically think that to boost our confidence, we have to add more to our lives—more goals, more habits—all the usual confidence-building tips we’re used to hearing.

But that’s not always the best answer. In life, there are times when you need to focus on clearing away what’s no longer serving you.

Maybe it’s time to cut back on the projects that no longer excite you. Maybe it’s about distancing yourself from relationships that drain your energy. Or maybe it’s about decluttering your physical space so you can come home to a more peaceful environment.

Whatever that thing may be, understanding when it’s time to prune is key to regaining your confidence.

And this isn’t talked about enough.

Step 3: Remove the Fear of Looking Silly and Awkward

One of the biggest barriers to confidence is the fear of looking silly or awkward in front of others. Whether it’s sharing your ideas, trying something new, or stepping outside your comfort zone, the fear of embarrassment can hold us back from making meaningful progress.

I know because I’ve been there. When I worked in corporate America, I was quiet in every meeting, worried about saying something wrong. But when I finally asked for feedback during a one-on-one with the VP, she encouraged me to share my ideas more often and not be afraid to express my point of view (even if it sounds awkward in my head). Her advice stuck with me and helped my confidence grow as I continued in that career.

You see, confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. Every awkward moment is an opportunity to learn and grow. Don’t let the fear of looking silly stop you from seizing opportunities to build your confidence.

Step 4: Avoid Being Too Repetitive

Routines are comforting. But when we stick too rigidly to the same routine day in and day out, we start to lose our excitement and passion. And when that happens, our confidence starts to fade.

This reminds me of a video I created a few years ago: The Six Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Life. One of the signs I talked about was the idea that you’re bored with your routine—and how we have an underlying fear of change.

When we are unwilling to evolve and grow, we are holding ourselves back from a new chapter or season in our lives that could be exciting.

Now, although repetition feels safe, it can become a trap.

So here’s a reminder that keeps me alert: Comfort prevents confidence from growing.

Confidence grows when we embrace change. Whether it’s taking on a new project, speaking up in meetings, or simply changing your daily routine, embracing novelty gives you the chance to grow and reignite your excitement.

Now It’s Your Turn

By letting go of expectations, pruning what no longer serves you, embracing awkward moments, and breaking free from repetition, you’ll build the confidence to move forward with purpose and clarity.

Here’s your action step.

Start by identifying one area where you’re holding on to unrealistic expectations, one relationship or habit you could prune, or one situation where you’ve been avoiding discomfort—and take that first step.

See you next week.